Tech Humor | Click Consulting

Customer: "Well, I just want to know if I load this disk into my computer, will other people be able to get into my computer and access everything I have in there?"
Tech Support: "No, that is not possible."
Customer: "You see it on the TV all the time."

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I work for the computer help desk of a large university. One of our more memorable clients is infamous for what I can only describe as techno-paranoia. The last time she called to tell us we were going to have to do something about the "Internet Communists." She was convinced that they were getting into her PC through her television and putting typographical errors in her word processing files. "They weren't there before," she insisted, "and I don't make those kinds of mistakes!"

I know a woman that believes there is a hacker attacking her computer. Every time there is a problem, or she gets an error message she is convinced it is "the hacker" messing with her. Almost every day she tells me "The hacker made me lose my document" or "The hacker made my email return with a wrong address message" or "The hacker made Explorer freeze today" or "The hacker made Napster lose its connection today" or "The hacker made a floppy unreadable" or "The hacker made the printer jam."

She has even assumed her imaginary enemy has superhuman powers. When I tell her some of the things she says are impossible to do, she says, "He knows how to do it. He is a genius."

She is sure this guy exists, and he devotes enormous resources and several hours a day, seven days a week to the sole purpose of bothering her.

I work as a computer tech at a community college. Most of our computers are currently running Windows 95. One day, an officer from our security department stopped by to talk to me. His face looked grim. He pulled me quietly aside.

Officer: "We have a new part time person working in our office who uses the computer, and I have to ask
you something, but you need to keep this confidential."
Me: "Ok, what's the problem?"
Officer: "Well, over the past two or three days I've glanced over at the new person's computer, and several
times I've seen a message that says 'You have performed an illegal operation,' but he keeps clearing it by
clicking something. I need to find out what he's doing wrong and if we should call the local police."

He looked so scared and serious, I had a hard time containing my laughter.

Courtesy of rinkworks.com